the Shemya informer
25 Apr 1959
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THE SHEMYA INFORMER (AP, UP, IHTFP, INS)
APRIL 25, 1959 AD (IHTFP)
SHEMYA, APRIL 25 (IHTFP)
NOTED A/F MAN VOLUNTEERS
TO WORK ON DAY OFF.
ACCORDING TO LATEST
REPORTS RECEIVED IN OUR
NEWS ROOM, DURING THE PAST SEVERAL
MONTHS A BIT OF COLOR HAS BEEN ADDED
TO THAT OLD PROVERB, “NEVER SAY DIE.”
ACCORDING TO NEWS FLASHES RECEIVED
TODAY, A CERTAIN A/F T/SGT WHOSE NAME
HAS NOT YET
BEEN RELEASED, WAS CAUGHT
LEAVING THIS ASSIGNED DUTY
STATION AS MUCH AS FORTY
FIVE MINUTES EARLY. THIS INDIVIDUAL,
WHO CLAIMS TO BE STEADFAST AND
IRREPROACHABLE IN BOTH HIS HONOR AND
INTEGRITY, WAS CAUGHT RED HANDED
LEAVING HIS POST TWO DAYS AGO THE
REPORT SAID. WHEN CAUGHT ON THE ROAD
BY
THE OIC AND ASKED WHAT TIME IT WAS HE
CALMLY RESET HIS GLASSES ON THE
BRIDGE OF HIS NOSE, TOOK A HEALTHY
PUFF FROM HIS CHEAP CIGAR, AND
STUTTERED, UH, OH, OOH,
WELL-UH, MY WATCH SEEMS TO BE
RUNNING A LITTLE SLOW. DUE TO THE FACT
THAT HIS WATCH WAS RUNNING SLOW, THIS
INDIVIDUAL WILL WORK FORTY FIVE
MINUTES SATURDAY MORNING. WHO IS THE
JOKE ON? THOSE WHO LAUGH LAST, LAUGH
LOUDEST. AND THIS PAPER IS ALL SMILES.
E-OPS, APRIL 25 (UP)
COLOR CONFUSION
FROM A RELIABLE SOURCE, IT WAS
LEARNED TODAY THAT A CERTAIN PFC IN E-
OPS HAS BEEN ORDERING NUMEROUS
AMOUNTS OF BROWN SHOE
POSLIS AT THE B.X. IT IS THE
OPINION OF THIS PAPER AND ITS STAFF THAT
THIS PARTICULAR INDIVIDUAL IS USING
THIS POLISH ON HIS NOSE.
ACCORDING TO THE LATEST SYSTEM OF
INTERIOR DECORATING, BROWN SHOULD
NEVER GO ON GREEN.
______________________________
SHEMYA, APRIL 25, (AP)
A/F MAN GIVEN CHOICE TO FINISH
CAREER.
AFTER SIXTEEN YEARS OF LOYAL (?)
ACTIVE MILITARY SERVICE, AN AIR FORCE
MAN WAS TOLD HE COULD EITHER GET OUT,
OR FINISH HIS TOUR IN THE WAF. THIS MAN
IS AN EX CPO, M/SGT, AND AT THE PRESENT
A T/SGT.
THE OSI DISCLOSED TODAY THAT
ACCORDING TO OFFICIAL BIRTH RECORDS,
THIS PERSONS NAME IS NOT
JUAN BUT JUANETTE.
SHE WAS QUOTED IN SAYING, “I HOPE
TO FINISH MY CAREER (?), UNLESS OF THE
POSSABILITY OF A “BIG-BELLY” DISCHARGE,
WHICH IS VERY POSSIBLE AS I ALREADY
HAVE THE MAIN QUALIFICATION.”
______________________________________________________________________
NWA OPERATIONS, APRIL # (ONS) (RS) //////EDITORIAL//////
""FINANCIAL PROBLEMS OF NWA QUESTIONED BY AUDITORS.""
THIS IS THE PROBLEM, NORTHWEST FEEDS APPROXIMATELY FOUR HUNDRED MEN EACH DAY.
FOR THIS, THE US GOVERNMENT PAYS THE OUTRAGES PRICE OF APPROXIMATELY $4,100.00.
OUR QUESTION IS, WHY CAN’T NWA AFFORD A MERE TWELVE GALLONS OF COFFEE A DAY
WHICH CAN BE MADE FROM APPROX. FOUR POUNDS OF GROUND COFFEE. TAKING INTO
CONSIDERATION THE QUALITY, AS WELL AS QUANITY OF THE FOOD SERVED AT THE NWA
CHOW HALL IT IS APPARENT THAT THIS MONEY MAKING ORGANIZATION IS MAKING MONEY.
WE OF THIS PAPER FEEL THAT THE QUALITY OF THE FOOD, INCLUDING THE POWDERED MILK,
SHOULD WARRANT SOME SONSIDERATION FOR THOSE WHO HAVE TO CONSUME IT.
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